At KXIU-TV studios, The Monkees appear to do a gig on a children's TV show called The Captain Crocodile Show. With a minute to go till airtime, kids file into the studio past The Monkees, and sidekick Howard Needleman greets the band,
whom he introduces to the star of the show, Captain Crocodile. However, Crocodile, a nasty, conceited, diabolical, underhanded, envious man in gross contrast to his TV persona, sets out to sabotage their appearance and has them stand on a mark
on his set dressed in dark green ponchos with
feathery light green caps on their heads, where they each end up getting a pie in their face every time the kids yell
"Fun!" Later that day, The Monkees arrive at the
office to see the TV network executive Junior Pinter and are surprised to find
him to be only a 12-year old boy! When Junior decides to have them appear on
The Captain Crocodile Show on a regular basis, they nearly depart, since
they refuse to perform on a show in which they're constantly pelted with pies in
the face. Then Junior calls up the president of the network, his father (who
gave him the show for his birthday!) vacationing in Sydney, Australia. and then
guarantees Micky, David, Michael and Peter that they won't be pied in the face anymore
and they will be given the chance to perform if they appear on the show again...just before he invites the guys to play hide and seek.
Meanwhile, Captain Croc worries to Howard after
receiving a memo from Junior Pinter, that he's being eased out and
The Monkees will replace him. To avoid this, he comes up with a scheme to
make sure that The Monkees' second appearance on his show's a compleet disaster. During the run through, he starts
out by nearly wearing down Micky by frantically working him on the cameras, explaining his life
story. On the show, Captain Crocodile announces The Monkees will sing for them;
the camera pulls to the boys on the bandstand, but just as they begin to perform, the camera immediately pans back to the good Captain
who suggests to his home audience that they take a look at his birthday house. The next three times, The Monkees are prevented from singing at every turn by the cameraman, fish nets and even
an explosive-laced bass drum. When Michael threatens to quit if he doesn't let them play,
The Cap finally concedes and gives them the go-ahead to perform;
The Monkees then go on to perform the song ”Valleri”. However after the song, the guys discover
to their chagrin that the show has been off the air for the entire 5 minutes of their performance.
On the
Captain Crocodile set, The Monkees
bemoan their catastrophic attempt to be a big success on TV, with Peter so
distressed he bursts into tears. To cheer him up,
The Monkees engage in a fantasy sequence spoofing every type of TV show: first, Michael, Micky, Peter and David don the guise of anchormen as they lampoon The Huntley-Brinkley Report, where Michael, as
meteorologist Tex Nesmith, gives an incorrect weather forecast; then, Michael, David and Peter
become panelists and Micky a moderator as they take a crack at What's My Line? in a game show called What's My Scene?, where Michael as a brain surgeon writes his occupation on the blackboard making scraping sounds, which instantly switches to a
To Tell The Truth parody (To Tell
A Fib); and finally, they satirize Batman (Frogman), with Peter as Frogman and David as Reuben
The Tadpole who swing in on ropes interrupting Michael and Micky as the villains planning a caper, and the four soon engage in a Batman/Robin-style fistfight, which climaxes with Peter and David bickering with each other over who should say "Crime doesn't pay!".
Meanwhile, Captain Croc comes up with another
nasty, evil thought: to arrange for a deluge of mail panning The Monkees! Soon
Junior tells the guys of hate mail (written in crayon!) from 27 people calling
them every name in the book: arrogant egomaniacs, long-haired weirdoes, and loathsome teenagers, (only a letter from Peter's mother finds favor
of the boys, calling them delightful and well-bred).
This prompts a director’s meeting called by the president, J.J. Pontoon, to discuss
The Monkees’ future on The Captain Crocodile Show. Micky, as a rating’s expert from
The Nielsen Polling Service,
Michael, as an elderly building janitor, and David and Peter as 6 year-olds barge in on the meeting to convince the directors that The Monkees
are the most popular performers on TV. Then Pontoon orders them out promising a decision by the afternoon. A fearful Captain Croc then launches his next plan by siccing his fan club, The
Crocodile Corps, on The Monkees. Soon there's a mad chase all over the Screen
Gems lot from set to set to the tune of “Your Auntie Grizelda” which ends on the
Captain Crocodile set, where The Corps have The Monkees cornered. They offer to read a story to the children, and, by using a dictionary as a book,
improvise events from different fairy tales (only Peter reads actual definitions
from the dictionary!) wining the children over. When The Captain angrily berates them for ruining
his master plan, his own fans turn on him, and the show is changed to Monkee
Menagerie. As they prepare to go on, Howard appears, and, dousing the boys with
seltzer, he takes over as host.
